Fornicator or adulterer….the married man syndrome

Hi bloggers….hope ur having a good start to the weekend? Anyway I heard some jist yesterday and I thought to share….

I had a long chat with a close friend yesterday (who we shall call Kemi), and after confiding in her about the mess I’m in with my Ex (Greg) (se blog below for details)she opened up to me about some of her ‘mistakes’. You see, Kemi works for a global investment firm and had recently attended an investors meeting in a foreign country. As part of the meetings proceedings, the investors had arranged a series of events to keep their guests entertained in the evenings. One of which included a night time boat trip and a meal under the stars. This was the beginning of Kemi’s impending downfall.

As a true Nigerian female, Kemi was dressed to kill. She informed me that she spared no expense on the new clothes bought to attend this meeting. According to her ‘Val, you never know where your luck will fall’! Oh yes, and believe me it fell….but perhaps not where she had hopped it would. Maybe I should take sometime now to describe my dear friend Kemi. She is a lovely person and has one of the most amazing smiles I know. Easy going but extremely head strong. I suspect this is one of the qualities responsible for her successful career. Kemi is also someone you would describe as being easy on the eye. As a fair skinned girl with immaculate skin and the eyes of a seductress, she is a head turner in everyway. Despite these fine qualities, Kemi is one of the most unluckiest girls I know. She has a knack for dating the worst men on earth. Her past boyfriends range from cheats and physical abusers, to losers and mamas boys.

So back to the story. She claims that she arrives the boat venue late but looking fantastic (a common Nigerian trait). Luckily, she is not the only one who has arrived late and the boat is still boarding its last passengers. As she attempts to climb on the boat, she bumps into this tall guy. He turns and smiles and that my friends was the second event leading to my friends impending downfall. “Val he had perfect white teeth” she claimed, as if that would soften the blow of the fatal ending she was about to give me. I smiled, “who can resist a man with perfect white teeth”, I replied. As if to encourage her that I was on her side. She continued to explain to me that this tall dude with ‘perfect white teeth’ was Philippe, a Latin American senior investment analyst, who worked for the company wishing to invest in her company. They talked all night, she freely admits that she began flirting with him after 2 glasses of champagne. But remains adamant that he started flirting first. Anyway to cut the long story short, they end up in her hotel room (for a chat). Yeah right, like they didn’t finish talking on the boat. She explains to me that when he kissed her she was surprised. Kemi, I retorted, “what did you think he came to do in your room, play scrabble?” She smiles with that knowing smile I have come to know and love. “Val what do you want me to, the guy was hot now”! We both laugh.

So what’s the problem with this scenario you may ask? Well you see on the boat, Philippe had told Kemi that he had a girlfriend. It turns out that this was a big lie. As they continued kissing, Phillipe wanted more. He kept telling her he loved the feel of her skin and that he wanted to do all manner of things to her. Normally, you would expect me to tell Kemi to spare me the gory details. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I like detail. Infact on my CV I always say I have an eye (and an ear) for detail. So I encouraged Kemi to tell me everything. According to Kemi, Phillipe had all the characteristics to be a good lover. He knew where all the spots were and he knew exactly when to be gentle and when to be erm how shall I put this….aggressive. But he had not expected to meet Kemi so he did not have any gloves. And being a somewhat sensible girl Kemi informed him that they could go no further. Anyway they found other ways to amuse themselves and after proceedings they ordered room services and began chatting.

Kemi: So you going to tell your girlfriend about me, she joked
Phillipe: Hahaha off course not. Actually I probably should tell you that I don’t have a girlfriend.
Kemi: Really, so why did you tell me you had one. Where u playing hard to get?
Phillipe: Laughs and kisses her. No its because I’m married….

Hold up, rewind, wait a second….married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHAT THE HELL!!!!!

“Val I was mad as hell” Kemi says to me. “The only reason I even allowed things to go that far was because he was white. If he was Nigerian we never would have gotten that far in the first place”. Val continues to speak plenty grammar as if to compensate or somehow justify her actions. “Well, Kemi”, I reply after recovering from my initial shock, “you couldn’t have known he was married. At least you didn’t sleep with him. Don’t worry, the guy is mad. So its not only Nigerian men that are useless”…I continue in my vain attempt to help my friend feel better. Little did I know that there was more…..

Kemi continued to explain that she wanted to seem mature about it all. She explained to him that she did not appreciate his lies and that she never would have allowed things to progress so far if she had known that he was married. To which Philippe replies, well if you did all this with me and you knew I had a girlfriend, what’s the difference? WHATTTTT…..men and logic…there is a big difference between girlfriend and wife!!! What a COW!!!

As the investment meetings drew to a close, Kemi and Philippe, in the spirit of maturity or stupidity (you decide) attempted to remain friends. So on the day before Kemi is due to leave they go out for drinks. But my friend Kemi is not wise. After a couple of drinks they end up in her room and this time Philippe has come prepared. And yep, you guessed it….they have sex. According to Kemi it was fantastic. So I guess having a Latin lover does live up expectation.

After the meetings both Kemi and Philippe return to their respective countries. But keep in touch via emails. The only problem is that Phillipe’s wife is a sharp woman and has been going through her husbands emails. So as we Nigerians would but it…kasala don bust!!!! Philippe and his wife are no longer on speaking terms and my friends guilt will not let her sleep……..

So please, what’s your verdict? Is my friend a fornicator or has she gone up one scale to adulterer? What is it about these married men? Why are they becoming so irresistible, regardless of culture? But more importantly, what should Kemi do now? My poor friend feels sooo guilty? Can God ever forgive her? I would love to know your views?